Have you ever noticed that people are basically the same as they have been all along? Take me, for example. I am naturally a bigger person. I have been accused of a lot of things but being petite or delicate is not one of them. I have been thinner and I have been larger, but if you look at me over the years, I am basically one form.
I know people who could eat a whole pie and never gain a pound and I can look at a pie and gain three pounds. We are all made so differently. Our metabolisms are different, our body build is different, our habits are different. Some people naturally gravitate toward salads and fruits and others, like me, gravitate toward meat and potatoes. There is nothing wrong with any of these body types or habits. Imagine if God created us all exactly alike.
In order to be thinner, we have to do something drastic. In order to gain weight we have to do something drastic. 6 years ago I lost down to the smallest I have ever been in my entire life. I looked sick. I didn’t realize it at the time but looking back on pictures, my face is sunk in and I just look ill. Truth was, I was not doing well during that time in my life and yet, everyone told me how good I looked. I would walk away wondering if they could see the cobwebs on the inside. Sometimes drastic weight loss is a sign of inward crumble. Don’t mistake what I am saying-it’s great when people lose weight and become healthier. Some people need to carve some pounds off for their health and I applaud you for that. It’s important to take care of yourself and your health. If losing weight is a part of that plan then that is a beautiful thing and not what I am making a point about. The point that I am attempting to drive home is that some people are naturally petite, naturally fluffy, naturally a salad lover, naturally a meat lover, naturally tall and skinny or naturally tall and fluffy, etc.
If you really look around at people you have known for a long time, they may have been thinner or bigger at certain points in their lives but we all have a natural body balance that we were born with. This year, in 2020, the year of perfect vision, I would like to see more people embrace themselves for who they are and try to simply be the best you that you can be. Live your best life, whatever that means for you, and stop comparison analysis of others. Be yourself because everyone else is taken. You are enough, with your flaws and shortcomings, your mistakes and shame, your triumphs and tragedies, and your successes and failures. You are enough.
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Here are some pics of me through the years. I’ve been fatter and I’ve been thinner. But basically I’m a larger person naturally. I will accept that and know that I am enough.
With my 50th birthday rapidly approaching at the end of November, there were a few things I wanted to change about who I was as a person with this new decade and second half of life I was about to embark upon. One was I wanted to quit drinking artificial sweeteners. 20 years ago I was an avid coke drinker. I would drink a two liter a day. I didn’t like water, so I drank coke all the time. When I would go to the grocery I would buy from 10-13 two liter bottles of coke and drink them that week. It’s terrible, I know but it was my reality.
One thing I have learned in my life is that we don’t “break habits”. We replace them with other habits. If I want to stop drinking cokes then I need to focus on replacing that habit with a better habit. I decided that I enjoy the bubbles of coke so I will drink one coke per day and drink something else the rest of the day. My desire for coke was satisfied with one and then I was able to replace the rest of my coke habit with tea or crystal light. I did this for several years until I started working then I would stop by Sonic in the morning and get a large Diet Coke then fill my Sonic foam cup with water instead of crystal light or tea the rest of the day. I made it a game for myself to see how hydrated I could become. That is what made it doable for me was checking to see how hydrated I was. The clearer my urine, the more hydrated I was. Judge me, but it motivated me to keep on my path.
I had always admired coffee drinkers because coffee is such a social thing. Those who sit with their husband holding a warm cup of joe and discussing their day was a beautiful thing. It didn’t seem as sensational to have a Sonic diet drink for the same event. Artificial sweeteners are terrible for you. Any amount of research will show you that and I am not here to convince you one way or another. I just knew for me, I wanted to quit drinking artificial sweeteners. I started by picking a creamer that sounded good and pouring half creamer and half coffee. Each day I would reduce the amount of creamer and acquire the taste for coffee. It’s working. I notice that in taking away artificial sweeteners, I don’t crave foods or drinks anymore. I haven’t lost any weight but I wasn’t trying either. Plus it is the holidays. The point I am trying to make is that the secret to making a change is replacing, not quitting. If you want to quit smoking you replace that habit with something else, like chewing gum. If you want to quit drinking sodas, decide what better option you will replace that habit with. It isn’t as daunting if you know you aren’t “quitting” you are “replacing”. I told myself I was going to become a coffee drinker-not-I’m going to quit drinking soda. I felt more in control and more set up for success by “becoming” something rather than “quitting” something. I wish you the best in the new year and with your efforts to resolve to be a better person in habits. We are creatures of habit and removing bad habits is daunting. Replacing doesn’t leave us feeling empty.
UPDATE: Originally, this post was written in December of 2019o-Pre-Covid. I wonder if Covid will become a "time marker" of sorts. Things happened either pre or post covid, if there ever is a post-covid time. sigh... I have remained a coffee drinker. I am so proud of myself. Every morning I have a cup of coffee with my husband. It is a lovely thing. It is a time we look forward to and with Covid, it has become even more wonderful because he has not been traveling so it is a daily thing. How did I learn to like coffee??? I wonder that on a daily basis. I learned that I like French vanilla creamer. I learned that it was ok if I did not care for black coffee. Basically I learned that it was good for me to like coffee how I like it and not how other people enjoy it. Why fit in when we were made to stand out? If you are interested in how to be more yourself and embrace YOU, check this out!
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Go forth and be fabulous, Friends, and don't ever forget that Best Days are Made!